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Accountability Starts with Decision Making

Accountability starts with decision making, but there is also an implied thought which says that ‘If I already made a decision, I can not change my mind.’ So how do we grow beyond that? 

 

I. The Basics of Great Decision Making 

Let’s clarify what are the basics of great decision making. Here are 3 key elements that will help you: 

  1. Your values are your lighthouse, they set the path on which you can manifest your identity and take action as close as possible to who you are;
  2. Your beliefs are the compounded view you created in your mind about the world and yourself, based on what your lighthouse (values) lit up for you;
  3. Your ethics are ways that you choose to translate your beliefs into action, for example what you consider good/bad, right/wrong, fair/unfair and so on. 

These 3 elements will always influence your decision making process. When you get really good at knowing, understanding yourself and how your mind works, then you will be able to make decisions based on these 3 elements, not as a consequence, but rather a source from which you act. 

 

II. Choosing is Not Decision Making

Many people confuse decision making with choosing based on lack of options. These two are very different as they have the single most important elements that separates them: your will. Let’s see how we can differentiate them. 

 

Choosing based on lack of options can be recognized by: 

  • Opportunity available only for a limited time;
  • Pressure and coercion based on psychology and sales techniques; 
  • It’s an ideal response based on a momentarily need; 

 

After choosing based on lack of options you might feel: 

  • That you have to make sacrifices and compromise; 
  • This was the best that you have chosen out of the presented opportunities; 
  • Regret, and live in the shadow of ‘what if’; 

 

Identity based decision making has the following characteristics: 

  • It’s is a conscious move, which you take full accountability for; 
  • There is always time and space to do it; 
  • It’s a decision that will contribute significantly to your well being on a long term and will pay itself continuously; 

 

After making an identity based decision you might feel: 

  • Empowered and have more clarity regarding your long term well being; 
  • That you have leveled up and are excited to put your new self to work;
  • Happy and satisfied that you have bet on yourself;

 

Always listen to your body and mind, if it doesn’t feel right, something is probably off. You do not need a logical reason to argue with your own self.

 

III. The Chains of a Limiting Belief

Even when we know all of the information we might have difficulties in applying them. Let’s take for example one of the limiting beliefs that I often hear, but it’s considered acceptable by society and even endorsed. 

‘If I already made a decision, I can not change my mind.’ 

is a limiting belief that keeps you stuck. 

You have all the right to change your mind, as you are in a process of continuously developing and becoming your better self. You can reevaluate your choice, cease a commitment and take up time and space to make a conscious decision.

Many people tend to sort of punish themselves because they made a momentary choice and they think that now they have to live up to it. No, you don’t. If it does not contribute to your well being mentally, physically, emotionally, financially then end it as fast as possible. 

Changing your mind doesn’t mean that you are not a serious person, or your words would mean less. You are an evolving human being, which learns as it grows and has all the right to self determination. 

Do not let people benefit off of you from a momentary choice which can determine your next years and quality of life by living under the impression that it was your decision. 

Stop the guilt tripping. If you are living with guilt, remorse, in the shadow of ‘what if’ then it was not even a decision, it was a choice. You went with it to respond to a short term need, so if it was a short term need, why in the world would you keep it for years?! 

 

IV. Rephrasing Your Limiting Belief

Instead of saying ‘If I already made a decision, I can not change my mind.’, 

say ‘Even when I make a choice, I can change my mind.’ 

Here are some linguistic elements to take into consideration: 

  1. Tense of the verbs: ‘made a decision’ creates a definite outcome based on the past which has no space for flexibility and option for change. Using this you will always relate to the past and chain yourself to that version of you, not allowing growth to take place. 
  2. Wording that goes from ‘decision’ to ‘choice’ allows your mind to locate the action in time and gives it a flexible character that will lead you to appreciate your development and practice your will. You are not a slave of your past. 
  3. Going from ‘I can not’ to ‘I can’ allows your mind to create space for other outcomes. Even if you do not know other opportunities right at the moment of speaking, you leave open doors to allow ideas to flow into that mentally created space. 

 

When you will truly master making a decision, not a choice, you will end up acting on it, so your accountability will naturally take place and you won’t have to force it. 

 

So there it is, hope I have answered some of your questions. Leave a comment or message me for more.

Mind your mind,

Rénata

 

📷 Photo by Burst on Unsplash

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